That’s right, this Eggo is prego! Time to hang up the ‘ol NO VACANCY sign on the uterine hotel.
Though this is my first attempt at growing a human, I am no stranger to the process. I have seen countless friends expand into motherhood – each with their own trials, tribulations and excess of “did I really want to know that about you” stories. Now it is my turn. As I finish up my 16th week, I would like to share with you a few of the inconveniences joys of gestating that I was not expecting and at the least, was unprepared for.
Revelation #1: Delete the word Normal from your vocabulary. Replace it with Remember when you had control over your body. For example: “Carrie, it’s ok to cry, it’s normal.” or my personal fave, Doctor, “Well….hmmm…that’s not normal.” I am not sure what it is about speaking with pregnant women, but everyone seems to want to wrap me up in a warm fuzzy security blanket called “normal.”
Revelation #2: You get fat! No, I’m not talking about the drank one too many beers and then ate a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, bloated, kind of fat …. I mean FAT! Nowhere in any book that I read did it state that I would wake up one morning and my waistline would have a starring role on Jersey Shore as “The Predicament.”
Revelation #3: No one will judge you for any of the following: vomiting, peeing, crying or sleeping. If you need to, you can even use it as an acceptable excuse to decline an otherwise unavoidable invite. No one will be mad. In fact, they will only become nicer to you. Disclaimer: Careful, this does have 13% rate of backfire in which resulted in unwanted visitors/phone calls, but was accompanied by a 7% increase in the rate of chocolate receipt.
All enlightenment aside, I am happily learning from and enjoying almost all that this stage of my Little Nugget has to offer. I promise not to crowd my blog with stories from the dark side, but be prepared for many more revelations. Note that I will be posting pics under ‘The Little Nugget” page.
By the way, if anyone, in any way involved with the book “What to Expect When You are Expecting” is reading this … contact me directly for the address to where you can send my $21.95 refund check.