I felt like an absolute criminal.
(In his best Keaneu Reeves voice) “You’ve gone…. too far …”, said the blandly grey-suited man who roled up in his gold Crown Vic with the roundy-round yellow light on top.
“Look, lady, just leave the cart there.”
I near about dropped my Rice-a-Roni and Cheetos as I whipped my head around to see what was going on. Here I was, alone in the Super Wal-mart (gasp) parking lot – just stocking up on the Sunday morning necessities.
He was talking to me!
Doing his due diligence, rent-a-cop (RAC)) parked his vehicle, got out and approached my grocery cart.
NOW WHAT HAD I DONE?! Could I play the “I’m pregnant” card for sympathy? Did I have enough cash in savings for bail? Did I remember to buy paper towels, I think they were on sale….
“Ma’am, you can’t take the cart that far!”
Unknowingly, I had parked so far into the reaches of the parking lot that I had activated the little alarmy thingy that goes off to prevent people from stealing the shopping carts. The wheels had those red locking devices and they had clicked down.
I was a criminal, THAT girl, I had tried to five-finger discount a Wal-mart shopping cart – unintentionally of course.
I tried to explain to the RAC that I had no clue what was going on and that yes, this was my car …. yes, here is my receipt, I did pay for these groceries. Geez, you attempt to steal one little grocery cart and suddenly you lose all retail credibility.
I closed my trunk, apologized and strategically backed out and around the now immobile grocery cart and proceeded home to enjoy my Cheetos.
In my rearview mirror I saw that poor RAC still struggling with how to move the cart.
1 – Don’t shop at Super Wal-mart on Sundays
2 – Park within the first mile of the entrance
3 – The long arm of the law protects even the grocery carts