Fool Me Once…

O, I know the saying all too well, but it hasn’t stopped me yet. I have even modified it a bit over the years to the point that the ending now sounds a bit more like …. Fool me 16 times and now I must just be learning a lesson – the hard way. Indulge me in the sharing of my most recent encounters with this phrase of wisdom.

Parking in downtown Sacramento: So what if the meter maids exhibit a sixth sense ability to present themselves no later than 36 seconds after I am out of time, I will still try to eek out 5 more minutes of lunch with the girls before dashing back to my car. Fool me once … and I will be making my $30 check payable to the city of Sacramento.

Switching lanes on the freeway: Good-ness this lane seems to be moving much slower than the others. Flip the turn signal; merge with just enough time to slam on the breaks as now THIS lane has come to an abrupt halt. Fool me once … genius idea, I’ll merge back!

Having pizza delivered to an apartment: “(530) xxx-xxx … Yes, that is the correct address … Yes, same order as last time … Nope, no additional sides needed … That does sound like a fantastic deal, but no thank you … paying with cash … 30-45, great!” Fool me once … “Ok, I’ll just walk out to the front and try to find his car.”

Clearly there are just some lessons I am immune to learning from.  Happen to you?

Somewhere amidst the plethora of half lucid bar conversation, garbled grocery store pickup lines and my kind-hearted friends’ awkward ‘he’s got a great personality’ setups, I snapped.

Hello online dating website!

*puts on best camouflage hat and animal print high heels*

Let the gentlemen hunt begin!

Insert witty ‘about me’ content and my best angled self portrait.

You should know that I signed up at 10pm on a Saturday night … from my iPhone … while eating dessert and watching season 5 of Grey’s (save this mental image).  It is obvious I have digressed into uncharted waters.

I’m baffled. I’m flustered. I’m …. Oooo, he’s cute!

In a way I am feeling voyeuristic. My cup runneth over with likes, dislikes, quirks and charms – all acquired seemingly without their knowledge.

After a good 72 hours of my free time used perusing all that my search function parameters had to offer, I was left with a few admirable prospects and a laundry list of possible Megan’s law candidates … not much middle ground here.

I am happy to report that while not a method I am planning on repeating anytime soon, I would still recommend it to anyone who is looking … even if for nothing more than good blog fodder.